A short study evening
That report from hell is finally submitted and I can go back to all my backloged homework. Yeah… Honestly, it feels good to read biology at this point where I’m so saturated by chemistry. I still love that subject, but I needed one evening without it.
Things are moving along, slowly but steadily. I still fall flat on my face every time a new notion comes in, though at this point, I psychologically cannot feel my falls anymore. It just is the new walking for me. I’m managing more and more pushing through the fatigue and focusing on reading and doing equations. With the shortening of the days, my usual Fall slowdown won’t be happening this year. As long as I can continue to function, I’m happy.
This first semester is a mess and I need to roll up my sleeves shoulder high to keep going. At least, the jargon is sinking in at this point allowing faster understanding. I know I’ll be doing this certificate in two years, and the highschool math revision will be a large new task to manage soon. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned I registered in an online highschool course for free assisted by teachers and recognized by the school system. Well, they contacted me today and I should be starting this shortly. First step, redoing secondary three maths. Crossing my fingers it will go fast till I tackle the scarier beast, secondary four math.
Also, I’m still waiting on the approval to recognize my learning disabilities by student financial aide. If I’m recognize, I won’t have to stay in courses I’m not investing study time in and won’t have failures on my record. Now crossing some toes. A final thing to address is to get my meds for to help with my ADD and mood regulation, that will definitely improve my performance and overall energy levels. I wonder how these new medication will improve my studies, hopefully it will be the final touch for upcoming successes. Once more, to ne continued.
On an emotional level, I’ve kinda gone numb. With so much stress and intensity, I’ve avoided connecting to myself. From self-criticism to licking my wounds, all kind of things are happening, but I’m keeping a lid on it. I don’t know when I’ll rebalance this aspect of my life, though at least I’m back to weekly sessions. Maybe, one day, I’ll have free time while being in school. One day…
