Accepting, and push through
I wish I could understand more the maths presented in both my courses right now. As hard as I tried to make sense of things this week, I couldn’t achieve the level of mastery I was hoping for. I’ll have to let go, and jeep going. As much as I want to comprehend everything, I have to acknowledge my limits in time, and energy.
I want to be a great nerd, it’s a long life dream. Standing as an average if not beliw average nerd is disappointing. I see highschool kids running around the university, playing spontaneous concerts on the pianos tucked in various corners of the campus exchanging scientific thoughts rhat are well above average, and I wish I could be half as good as one of those little geniuses. My bother was gifted as a child before he started using drugs. I had learning disabilities, and was the last student in my classes in primary school. I always dreamed of getting just a little bit of that genius, just enough to reach my dreams. Instead, I fight teeth, and claws to get a passing grade.
This is not the first time I feel like this since I’ve returned to school, and dropping from A grades to B grades isn’t reassuring. I only have to classes per semester, I don’t work, and I get free tutoring from school, I have to do better. As I’m preparing to visit friends in the up coming days, I want to make sure I continue working hard. I’m in school for me, it’s my dream coming true, and I want to give it my all.
