Brace for impact!
Today didn’t unfold as planned. I couldn’t get my ass going fast enough this morning. Than I took time to chat with my good friend regarding her divorce situation. Plus the self-management of depression symptoms workshop I registered for ended up starting today. This led to starting my math online course at the very edge of my productivity period. Actually I’m 2 hours in my evening rest time at this point.
I managed to put in about 2 hours of algebra studies, but it’s for from the ideal 6 hours I wish I could have done. Luckily tomorrow, a 9 am doctors appointment will get my ass on campus nice and early. I really need to stop thinking in the morning that I’ll be okay even if I don’t leave right away. Until I catch up with the massive amount of home work I have, I won’t alow this to happen again. It sucks, but I did this to myself in the first place not putting in enough work on my first week of school.
As much as I’m upset with my adulting skills, I must admit that registering to that workshop to help with depression was an excellent move. I’m part of a very divers group of smart mostly young individuals with a very interesting diversity of background. Connecting over a stigmatized condition we all share really helped.
It’sinteresting to see that the consequences of over-achievement is depression, as well as under-achievement. I’m part of the later, but it’s good to learn that as much as I admire highly productive people, they also can live what I live. This unexpected incursion into high-achievers reality is giving a more balanced perspective on my productivity.
Other than my lack of self-discipline, I’ve discovered great methods to over come my constant depression on my own, and with the help of my ongoing psychology research. What I’m the most happy about is that my story has already helped an other participant. It showed him that you can live, and function even with depression. That even if he would be stock with this for the rest of his life, like me, he could still become who he wants to be. That’s a massive contribution in itself.
I look forward to grow with this therapy group, and hopefully it gives me beter motivation for the weeks to come. Keeping in mind that I can have a positive impact with my knowledge, and ski, I have to keep going. This big math hurdle can’t stop me from the help I intend to bring with my future research.