Buwah fafuaw…

Under the avalanche.

Judith's Squirrels
2 min readJan 28, 2022

It seems no matter how hard I try, I’m still getting nowhere. Even if this afternoon in my self-management of depression symptoms workshop we saw the different filters causing the cognitive distortions at the base of mental illness, my title that is a dramatisation still reflects my reality. I’m not remotely progressing at the pace I need to to catch up on my homework.

At least, my math tutor is now the one splitting his brain trying to understand the first question of my weekly online quizz. He’s now getting a taste of the madness I’m a part of. As my chemistry teacher said last week jokingly: “don’t come to university if you want to have fun.” Well, it’s another kind of fun I would say; a sick kind of masochistic exercise where university students play the twisted game of preventing their skull from exploding while overflowing their brains. With all that, I still have to catchup on my chemistry homework. Argh!

I’ve managed to squeeze in a quick laundry trip to have something to wear for tomorrow, and the busy week ahead. It will be a full weekend at school, and possibly for every week till midterms. I’ll have to discover even more creative ways to feed myself, and find the time to sleep as the pressure to perform increases. Hopefully my plan to be in math help sessions every time it’s on, which is Monday, Wednesday and Friday, will help me gain more traction.

All I can hope for is to survive under the weight of my workload. For as long as I make it on the other side of this term, I’m happy.

Gratitude Journal:

I’m grateful for the kindness of my fellow workshop participants.

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Judith's Squirrels
Judith's Squirrels

Written by Judith's Squirrels

Completed diary of a student entering university at forty. Just writing for me. Kaizenka, ex-nomade, foodie, and health nerd.

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