Colliding moods

From feeling like I won the lottery to remembering how lonely I’ve been since my breakup, my heart, mind, body, and soul are integrating the avalanche of changes that life has thrown at me in one month. I’m leaving a decade of my life behind to start the journey towards an important dream.

This emotional overload has taken a toll on my eating habits. I’ve ingested more wheat than I have for the past six months in three days. Not to worry, I’m far from binging though temptation for baked food has taken my taste buds hostage. To be fair, the energy expenditure I’ve invested in my studies and coordinating my move did leave me in a caloric deficit. Also, it’s the time of the month when my body craves more carbs; therefore, I’m not beating myself up for it, but I have to be cautious. I did notice that I experience a mild hypoglycemic drop after those carby meals, most likely due to a strong insulin response. My body is no longer used to be under siege by starches.

I’m still taking my daily walks and stretch as often as I can throughout the day. Health-wise, all is stable. I’ve recovered from my COVID vaccine within a few hours and had great company for dinner last night, which helped me cope with the light reaction. All is well though one consequence of this increased pace in event unfoldings has left me little time to process my emotions. I will be leaving dear friends behind, a business I did enjoy and a region that had become found of. I will miss my walks along the river, my favourite restaurants and the feeling of home this adoptive city now gives me. I don’t know if I’ll like my new apartment once I’m in it, and I may not enjoy the neighbourhood I picked. All different unknown elements that do leave me a bit worried sometimes.

Positive thoughts do take precedents over negative thoughts, and I’m confident in my choice. I guess what I need is time to say goodbye to my old life. Thankfully it’s a long weekend, and I have extra time to reflect, appreciate and let go. I need to remind myself that I have to let go of the old to welcome the new. Breathing in and out, I got this.

Gratitude journal:

I’m grateful for pizza.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Judith's Squirrels

Daily diary of a student entering university at forty. Just writing for me. Kaizenka, ex-nomade, foodie, and health nerd.