Enough, I’m imposing my sanity.
This was all socially normative, and scripted, but I just don’t abide by those types of standards. I was recommended a study path, which made sense on paper, though did not work at all. Under-slept, under-fed, stressed out of my mind, and not merely learning as much as I know I can; today, I’m putting my foot down. Enough!
This none sense of running for the praise of others, and trying to abide by unrealistic standards is over. I’m capable of handling two courses, and that’s what I will do for now. I haven’t yet officially abandoned my other courses since I’m still waiting for the decision on my student loan and grants. Even if they reject my request to be identified as a student with learning disabilities, and I don’t get full funding at two courses a semester, I don’t want to carry the mental and emotional load of failing the two courses I’ve chosen not to do. No matter the decision, I will properly abandon the courses, even if it means potentially losing some financial support.
If I don’t get approved as a disabled student, I will finish my current two classes, than, most likely go to adult highschool education like I was doing earlier this year. I want to do things at my own pace even if I have to pay for it. Also, those courses don’t get any funding by the government, but I’d rather intermittently work to pay for my studies, than to be helpless and discouraged in a format that doesn’t suite me.
If I do get recognized as a disabled student, I will pick two very easy class, most likely in art, so I can keep my grants and loans, than use my spare time to study night courses at the adult school. Ether or, I want an education, not just a piece of paper to please others. I want a school that understands that learning takes time, and leaving space to integrate the notions is critical.
Luckily, with this first chemistry class, I’ve already gained enough knowledge to understand how to better master my homemade body care mixes, and also my grain free, nut free and seed free baking. Once I cover all these foundational scientific notions, there will be a multitude of health and everyday life science I’ll be able to use actively.
I may not ever carry the title of doctor, but I don’t care. Made scientists suits me wonderfully and from those strong notions in sciences, I can hand pick courses that help me comprehend better the female microbiome. The way to get there doesn’t matter, as long as I can heal myself and others, that’s all I care about.
