Everything in moderation, except moderation, you need lots of that!
Reconnecting with my creativity, listening to audiobooks on psychology and spending copious amounts of time on self-care totally rocks! Though I’m starting to fall behind on my school funding process and gathering my paperwork for my income taxes. Between procrastination triggered by the need to rest, and becoming avoidant for the sake of staying in pleasurable tasks, I now have to start moderating my activities.
As per Dr. Devon Price advice, I’m following the call of my laziness to respect what my mind and body need for recovery right now. What may appear as idleness has proven to be vital in reconnecting with my values and make major decisions on a personal matter. Crafting, listening to educational content and taking as much time as desired to perform my mundane activities nurtured my soul and I’m grateful for the abundance of time that life permitted. The pandemic has been a blessing as I said before and I still stand by it. Slowing down, dwelling on my life and checking-in with myself had been long past due before the lockdown.
I no longer accept self-harm in the form of negative self-talk and aggressive mental pushes to do things I’m reluctant to do. I’m re-educating myself to use micro-steps to start working on my obligations. Today, I gave myself ample hours to nap, paint, cook and stretch. As I’m processing difficult emotions, my energy has been sporadic but I know better than to feel guilty or inadequate. Allowing the grieving stages to flow without interruption accelerates my recovery and I have not turned to copping behaviours to avoid the pain which is a first. In the realm of emotional management, my past reactions were to go for rebound sex, distract myself with unrealistic projects, travel or over-watch Netflix, none of which I did!
There has been a reasonable amount of soul food and have established a new happy brain breakfast menu that kickstarts my day on the right foot. Dried apricots and figs for low glycemic index yum that boosts serotonin; roasted nori dipped in olive and flax seed oil with seasoning to increase my iodine intake as well as anti-inflammatory lipids along with omega 3; and avocado for omega 9 and potassium. I may add something else depending on my mood but the combination of those 4 foods has worked wonders and I intend to sustain this new routine till further notice.
Of all the therapeutic habits I’ve implemented in the past 2 months, the most beneficial one has been to stop self-criticizing and self-judging when I’m not being “productive”. To completely cut internal pressure to do more has made me more performant and balanced than ever before. Undeniably, loving-kindness and compassion towards myself are the best strategies to defeat apathy. The result of my small and well encouraged micro goal of at least taking the papers to sort for my taxes out of storage led to doing just a little more and I feel back on track no longer dreading this shore for the upcoming days. Tomorrow’s micro-step: finding my 2020 taxes spreadsheet I started last year. Who knows, I may even enter some information. One tiny mini little step at a time in a positive caring way.
