Good afternoon!

Judith's Squirrels
2 min readJul 24, 2022

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I always say you adapt things to your need, not you for the things. In case the of my personal challenge of daily blogging, nothing forced me to wirte at night. It was time to work smarter. As St, and I are stuck in traffic, it’s the perfect time to take care of my daily commitment.

Having a clear mind to reflect in writing feels good. I had a nice realization this morning. Since my relationship with St is so incredibly simple, and positive I often wonder what went wrong with the others. What I became aware of is the way I would project a part of me on to my previous partners, and as well on St. It think it’s pretty automatic when someone likes an other person. It’s supports the experience of many who say they like who they are with their partner.

Not only do I project a self on to my partner that shapes my behavior, but I also project how I see my partner; it’s a projection of the relationship as a whole. What has become clear while waking up is how my projection of how I saw my ex, P, in the relationship was flattering to him at first. It unfortunately became disturbing to him since he couldn’t be the person I saw in him. Also, the image of him he put in me, he couldn’t live up to. The mirror didn’t fit the frame.

This analogy helps me understand many of my past broken expectations from previous relationships. It also explains why I would be hopeful for my partners to turn out to be how I hoped them to be. St, and I both have cultivated projections of ourselves, and the relationship o each other. Thankfully, the mirrors, and frames fit. We aim for a life together. A peaceful, healthy existence, where we create our dreams together. Making sure we are safe for the future, and autonomous; both for ourselves, and as a couple.

It’s almost been a month that I’ve been with St almost every night, and that we spend our weekends together. We don’t get fed up of eachother. Even when we were debating our workd views this morning, we enjoy our divergences in perspective. We also respect where we come from, and what has shaped us. I’m comfortably, safely, caringly, and happily in love.

Gratitude Journal:

I’m grateful for weekends in the company of St.

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Judith's Squirrels

Completed diary of a student entering university at forty. Just writing for me. Kaizenka, ex-nomade, foodie, and health nerd.