Half a breath above the water
It was a short lived victory. Yesterday’s hopes vanished when I woke up with a more scattered as ever brain. My creativity was bubbling up while my focus, and ability to do math receded. I guess not studying as much as I wanted to did crank up my stress no matter how much reasoning, mantra or meditating I did. I realize more and more everyday that I had no stress management skills at all in the past, and I barely dabble with speudo emotional regulation techniques. Gosh, an ADD brain is a hard thing to tame.
I moved forward as much as I could in my studies, but speed nor efficiency where present. I did something at the very least. The little study click from last semester gathered again today, along with a new addition to the group. We were disciplined, and we enjoyed a great time together. To benefit from a little extra study time, I stayed in school longer. Now, I’m sooooo ready for bed.
I’m wiping yawning tears as I’m typing on my phone. One thing for suew, I will not fail at any of my exams. Now, to wish extent can I perform. There lies the question.
Little side note, my hyper-creativity in the morning led me to type a 2 pages nutrition essay on how to better manage fasting for Islamic students doing the Ramadan. They liked it, and shared it around. Regulating blood sugars to better navigate ketosis is modern knowledge that could help this ancestral tradition.