Increased pace
Productivity was the order of the day. From reorganizing my main storage space to cooking everything I will need for the upcoming week, it was a go go go day. Everything I accomplished was for myself only; still, it feels like I’ve been working for three bosses.
One crucial thing came in today, my neuropsychological results. It’s spot-on! I’m happy to see that comprehension is not at all an issue, and I have to admit I’m flattered to see it’s above average. Dysorthography is definitely part of my issues which explains my past grades when writing. My working memory stands slightly below average, where coordinating the different steps of a job has been challenging throughout my life, but I do eventually compensate with practice. As for my attention, I don’t sustain it as well as I thought I could; the longer the demand on my focus, the less performant I become.
It all makes sense, and my mother and S also reviewed it and could assess that it indeed described me well. I will be eligible for added time and more support for my studies. I’m relieved to know it will become easier for me to attain my study goals, though oddly, a part of me further reflects.
From the mystery barrier I intuitively battled all my life is under a neon-bright spotlight. This almost mystical quest of overcoming my invisible challenges has been a part of the journey I’ve taken pride in. A part of my identity is to be this underdog that came out victorious in the most unexpected ways. Now, what I’ve been fighting doesn’t seem so glorious anymore. On the other hand, I will be able to improve my results dramatically since I can start implementing tools specific to my issues. It’s a very positive outcome though it asks me to shed an old self, one that uses to keep going even if the odds were against her.
It’s not so much an adventure but rather a carefully planned journey at this point. A part of the excitement disappeared to give place to increased chances of success. The predictability seems a little boring at the moment, though the difficulty of the subjects I will be studying will reshape that fallacy. What truly matters at the end of it all is that I acquire the knowledge and skills to perform the healing work I wish to offer to women. No matter what my ego may tell me, there's a goal greater them me, a goal that will make a massive difference in the lives of women and the children they will bear.
