It’s going to be intense!

Judith's Squirrels
3 min readFeb 10, 2021

I registered for my Spring semester courses and I’ll be a busy girl from Monday to Friday morning and afternoon for 8 weeks starting May 3rd. Time to buckle up and dive in the work ahead. I’ve been preparing with Mathematical online games and education and have been using this blog to perfect my writing. Even if I’m starting in 2 months, I’m preparing to give my best and perform well. With all that being said, what about my other commitments?

Well, when you juggle a lot of balls in the air, some may drop. The task is to pick them back up and keep juggling. I totally forgot to take my measurements on February 1st and will do so tomorrow morning to see where I’m at health-wise. Again, I’m not looking to lose weight, I simply like to keep track of my physiology, not using my ever-changing perception to do so. Thanks to the metric system, I can keep an objective eye on myself.

As for food journaling, I decided to push through some unpacking and organization to feel more at peace before reintegrating this daily task. I could have done both but my inner brat wanted an escape. I let it win this time to entertain my juvenile sense of pseudo freedom. Balancing what seems more pleasurable with what appears more difficult with my daily tasks has helped me be more productive when facing patches of resistance. It’s better to do something than nothing at all, as long as it’s in a controlled way. I wouldn’t continually do what looks easier but I play with a little wiggle room so I don’t feel trapped.

My energy level has improved since I changed my macros ratio but also, I’ve been better attending to my emotional health. The emotional turmoils of last month did affect me more than I could realize at the time. Looking back, I’ve been through many difficult emotional situations in the past and I’ve always had accentuated fatigue following those events. There are undeniable physical elements to my chronic fatigue of the past year though, my recovery depends as much on my health habits as my mental state.

I’m up for a big study sprint in May and I intend to align my chances towards success. If I’m aiming to keep blogging, keeping a close eye on my diet and health while immersing myself in school, I’ll have to be disciplined. Failing to plan is planning to fail. I’ve luckily grown fed up enough of my pathetic failure attitude and can now see that success depends on three things mostly:

  • Take the first step
  • Plan
  • Keep going

I intentionally put the first step before planning because pre-planning is often irrelevant when confronted with the reality of our endeavours. In my opinion, it’s more important to gather the courage to actually start than to try to perfectly perform from minute one. Learning is part of the process and we should schedule accordingly to allow growth.

As much as I’m irritated by the fact I dropped the ball on some of my health habits, I forgive myself and know I will be back trying as hard as I can to accomplish all my daily goals. I need to recognize that I’ve built much more stamina compared to last month and feel confident in my chronic fatigue recovery. Without becoming unrealistic, I know that clusters of small manageable habits will help me reach my goals. Whatever minute the improvement, for as long as it’s ongoing, it’s an achievement. I realized today that my perpetual desire for improvement is one of my driving qualities. I didn’t recognize it in myself till my closest friend introduced me to the Japanese concept of “Kaizen”. It’s not about getting a perfect score or seeking an acclaimed victory, it’s the process of betterment for the sake of betterment. If there’s one talent I can consistently practice no matter what; it’s definitely that perpetual art of Kaizen. That — I love in myself. Amelioration in some shape or form. every. single. day.



Judith's Squirrels

Completed diary of a student entering university at forty. Just writing for me. Kaizenka, ex-nomade, foodie, and health nerd.