Looking at the other side
Yesterday, I didn’t blog because neck pain, and a headache had me go to bed early evening. Luckily, I got an appointment with an osteopath near my new place that helped resorbe the problem. Still I managed to advance well in my studies, and I’m catching up on my homework.
When my neck pain started in the middle of the night on Sunday, I knew what it ment holistically. Neck problems are associated with the unwillingness to look at the other side of a situation. My recent reflections on P have been very one sided, and I haven’t taken responsibility for what belongs to me in this situation.
When I started seeing P, I was aware of his situation, and I was willing to be patient for as long that the right steps were taken. I couldn’t predicte if the steps would be taken, but I made the choice to try. When I met resistance from P for him to engage in resolving his situation, I should have backed away. Instead, I became forceful, and teied to change him.
Also, my best friend asked me an important question that I should have spend more time findind an answer to; “Why did P stay in a situation he didn’t choose that made him unhappy for two decades ?” If I would have made serious attempt at answering that, I would have found out immediately what was wrong. P is passive, and avoidant to an extreme. That fact would have made me walk away on the spot. Unfortunately, I was too busy trying to fix P, and his life to see that it was useless. At the end, there was no chance of getting what I wanted, a courageous partner.
Taking ownership of my wrongs is important for me to grow. When I start looking at the other side of the story, my neck loosen up. It’s stiĺl soar, but it’s getting better. I’m glad I found a health professional to go to in my neighborhood that his talented. I’ll be getting regular treatment to avoid waking up form excruciating pain from neck spasms. I will sleep well tonight for sure. St is waiting for me in Dreamland, time to join him.
