Many demands
No, St isn’t asking too much of me, to the contrary, he’s always helping me in all the things I want to accomplish. The demands I’m referring to are the ones I put on myself, and the ones of people I’m not so close to, but seem to want a lot of my time, and attention. It’s my responsibility to set boundaries, and it’s work that needs constant readjustments; with myself or others.
When I was single, and didn’t have my school social circle, I didn’t take account of some social expenditures. They weren’t that frequent, and I wasn’t overly concerned with them. Now that I’ve invested myself in my relationship with St, I’m becoming more, and more present to the interactions that are not necessary in my life. I’m aware that I’m in the honeymoon phase, but still, I have to prioritize where I invest my energy for the future.
Right now, I don’t need to make any drastic changes, but I’ll have to slowly untangle myself from some friendships. I want to be surrounded with curious minds, that spark interest, and motivation in my soul. I want to admire those I cherish. I want to feel that I’m growing each time I interact with a friend, even if it’s a baby step.
Some people find excuses, others reach for their dreams. I want to be part of the latter group. We’re the average of the people we spend the most time with, and I want an average of go-getters. Thankfully, St is with me on this path. As for the demands I put on myself, finding a good psychologist will be needed. Between perfectionism, and chronique fatigue, I need to adjust my expectations.
