My little heros
I will try my best to catch momentum with my study buddies more often from now on. To see them with a full course load, doing much more complicated math things than me gives me perspective, and help me step away from my inner melodrama. Also, they can help when I’m really stuck, and I get flattered when they ask for my advice.
The spontaneous evening gatherings in the science faculty cafeteria are my new go to for motivation. They may grasp concepts at a faster rate, and they may have better memories than I do, bit they are so encouraging and supportive. As I’m settling in the reality of having learning disabilities, to be surrounded with positive people really helps.
The reason why I never had to experience my learning disability condition since 6th grade is that I was placed in adapted groups in highschool at first; than I never truly intellectually challenged myself as I picked jobs and studies that came easy. I’ve been reinforcing already achieved skills for many years without realizing I wasn’t really expanding my mind.
One of the downsides of consuming personal growth products is that they tend to give the illusion of progress over small accomplishments. This unfortunately distorted my perception of performance, leading me to believe I was smart and “evolved”. It wasn’t the case, what teens and young adults go through with very little recognition from society in school is true heroism. If they do apply themselves, and seek understanding, what the need to absorb in a very limited amount of time with limited resources is monumental.
All those cath words from my years of personal growth binges: grit, perseverance, stretching your mind, developing new skills, etc. All that is coming into focus. It sounds so glamourous when told by others, in reality, it’s the messiest place one can be. If you don’t feel atrocious in the challenges of the new, you’re not in the new. I’m finally getting the lesson.