Space cadet moment

The art of distraction

Okay. This is embarrassing… I logged in my Medium account multiple times last night. Each time intending to write my blog, each time being distracted by a headline along the way. I got side tracked enough times that I simply forgot to write my post. Earlier yesterday, I was explaining to my doctor how I have “space cadet moments”, and explained I wanted to explore ADD medication in the new year. Last night’s brain fart is my case, and point.

Popping a pile for any reason isn’t my forte. I reluctantly take acetaminophen, or pain killers, and stay at the lowest dosage for my SSRI. I’m a firm believer in healthy life habits as the best remedy, but there comes a point where the ideal conditions still ain’t enough. Only then do I turn to medication. When it comes to my attention deficit, I’m at that point now.

Forty one years with my brain has taught me that will power is a short term limited resource that is extremely costly in energy. All humans have access to that super power of pushing through hard circumstances, but that ability can only be sustained for so long. The chronic fatigue I fail into in 2020 was a clear wake up call for me; what I was doing wasn’t working, an other strategy was needed.

More than a year and a half later with a neuropsychological evaluation, a better medical follow up, and a healthier lifestyle, I can see where my limits stands at this stage of my life. More than a decade ago, an industrial psychologist tremendously help me by revealing test results that change my approach on work. I scored incredibly high on ever type of creativity. Without new challenges or diversity, I would quickly become depressed. It explained a lot at the time since I was constantly job hopping, hitting a plateau in my interest within 3 months or so depending on how redundant my tasks were. His advice was to work multiple jobs, and always make sure to work on a personal creative project. I did so for more than a decade, and found profound fulfillment in the diversity of my experiences. Since though, my body has changed, and my energy resources have diminished.

I don’t see an energy restriction as a problem, on the contrary, it’s a healthy signal that tells you to stop before it’s too late. It has helped me to be more organized, less scattered, and more applied to the task at hand within the proper time frame. It made me a better time manager, and I get to enjoy more relaxation time each day. In that spirit of efficient, and intentionality, this is where the use od ADD medication becomes an optimal option. I’m fully aware that those treatments have been used in the wrong way, and that there is a black market for it. I have no interest in it, and I’ve advised my doctor that I will closely monitor the impact of this nee substance because dependency is the last thing I want. I’m looking for a tool to improve my cognition.

I’m very creative to a fault. There’s a reason this blog is called Judith’s squirrels. My attention endlessly drifts which makes lively, and fun conversation in a social setting. Unfortunately, it’s way too energy costly in the frame of full time studies. With awareness, and caution, I will enter a new chapter of my academic journey in the new year. For now, I will make the best of my forever running around squirrels.

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Daily diary of a student entering university at forty. Just writing for me. Kaizenka, ex-nomade, foodie, and health nerd.

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Judith's Squirrels

Judith's Squirrels

Daily diary of a student entering university at forty. Just writing for me. Kaizenka, ex-nomade, foodie, and health nerd.

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