The bridge

I’m fully aware that I’m bridging bargaining and acceptance to skip over the depression stage in my grief process today. Still, sometimes the best self-preservation solutions demand some massaging of one’s perception of reality.

Viktor E. Frankl did survive the Haulocost holding on to the hope he would see his wife again. The power of hope is extraordinary. With it, we create beliefs of continuation when faced with a profound loss — entire religions revolve around the concept of reuniting with those we love beyond death. Today, I chose to ease the sorrow with that tool.

I remember reading an article in the Times magazine special edition on Hapinness a few years back where spiritual faith was an important factor in creating emotional resilience. In the past, I would distract myself from hardship and mourn difficult events in chaotic and extended ways. This recent breakup is my first griefing journey in which I’m not avoiding my feelings, and I’m learning a lot. I’m grateful I took the time to be present to my emotions this time, as it will prepare me to deal with inevitable future losses as my family is growing older.

This new application of faith is reshaping my relationship with spirituality in positive ways. As much as I dislike the idea of using a psychological crutch to cope with life, experience and studies have taught me that we always attempt to compensate in someway. What matters is not to knuckle it alone, but rather how we will choose to address the situation reasonably and responsibly. Pain management doesn’t necessarily mean pain killers; there are many alternatives, and it’s for us to educate ourselves and choose what suits us best.

Since my separation, my readings have helped me understand more clearly what caused me to behave poorly. It’s becoming easier to forgive myself, and I’m learning better ways to manage intense conflicts. I miss him dearly, but I now have my support belief to help me through the loneliness. One day, in this life, or the afterlife, or the next life, we will meet again. Somehow, if it was meant to be, faith will reunite us again. Cliché, I know but efficient.