The music that popped my study bubble
I’m waiting for the bus, and a virtuoso is at the piano. How delightfully mind-blowing. There’s pianos left for anyone to play in different buildings around campus, one is near the bus terminal, and I’m flooded with magic right now.
I sneaked to see who was a playing, and I can tell you this young pianist is bewitching a lovely young lady that will fall helplessly for this handsome genius. It uplifts my heart, but at the same time painful memories interfere. Once upon a time, I belonged to one of those extraordinary individuals.
P was one of those rare multi-gifted humans. By gifted I mean exceptional at all his skills. He played piano wonderfully, and even composed a piece in honour of our love. He was already fixing computers for his school, and in his parents offices at 13 years old, and founded his company at 16 which he still runs to this day. He had a photographic memory, a brain that could solve any and every riddle, and he was the most loving person I ever met. Once upon a time, I was that lucky girl, but no more.
Quite frankly I didn’t expect getting this burst of emotions just now. The sound of live piano reawakened a wave of sentiments, and the site of the young love birds crystalized my sadness. I’ve been functioning well for the past month. I had come to terms that I was now single, and will be for a while till I feel ready. I thought I had overcome my sorrow, but my teary eyes sitting in the bus typing proves that I haven’t.
Healing is long unpredictable process. Today I got triggered, and I’m reprocessing my lost once more. Even if my discipline is improving, that I’ve done good on my studies, and that I will be ready for my exams, I can’t help but drift back to pain. I will be okay by tomorrow, and in the future, I’ll be able to manage triggers. Right now, I have to accept I’m where I’m at, and that love will come my way eventually. When I’m ready…
