The narrator never shuts up

Judith's Squirrels
3 min readJan 15, 2023

I may have taken a five week blogging break, but the voice that thinks about what to write next never stopped. After two years of daily writing, my brain rewired to think in terms of posts; my inner dialogue is forever transformed. I don’t think I want to go without writing at this point.

One thing for sure, is that it’s an amazing reflexion tool. It definitely gives perspective to my thoughts, and allows me to externalise feelings that would fester otherwise. The mental health benefits outweigh the time, and effort invested. With that being said, how will I manage this new blogging habit?

I definitely don’t want to feel obliged like I did with my initial personal challenge, yet, I have to push myself a little to take some time, sit down, and put in the work. I’m writing this on a relaxed Sunday morning, and I’m considering starting my days with blogging. Could be a good way to begin on the right foot, though I have a terrible history of waking up last minute, and running to whatever obligation I need to attend. Living with St who’s an early riser will mostly help break that bad pattern, but I don’t want to be overly optimistic. For years now, I struggle getting my shit together, and wake up early. All I can realistically expect is to try, and see.

Using my computer wish doesn’t have a million and a half notifications will for sure keep me calmer in the morning. Plus, I’m typing on a writing software with a proper keyboard which will improve my spelling,and grammar. My previous blogs are infested with mistakes since I wrote last thing before bed, on my phone, half conscious. Now that I’m mostly writing in French, maintaining my English writing skills is essential. Again, I may be on a good day, with high hopes. There’s no telling if this will be sustained.

I need to study a bit before I meet up with a good friend who’s visiting Canada with her kids. My schedule is busier now that I’m socialising more. My favourite part of my new life is being able to finish my days interacting with St. I use to write to tame anxiety, and feel some sort of connection with something or someone before. Now, I’m blessed with the joy of having a best friend to talk to every day.

Also, a little update on my life. I’m not yet done with my Fall semester’s exams. An unforeseen event forced me to postpone my maths exam. I’ll be taking it on January 21st which is why I’m studying on a Sunday. So far, my new university is a bit more challenging to get used to. It’s a very large establishment with a massive bureaucratie. They did a great job at automating forms, and processes online, but every slightest little demand needs to go through a form. My previous university was much more human, and I had a more personalised learning handicaps support. My new university has more online tools, and workshops to help students with their difficulties though. I will benefit from affordable, mostly covered insurance orthopedagogue services. They have a well renowned psychology, and education program which led to establishing unique student services for those with special needs. It’s really cool. Their focus is on bringing as much autonomy to students as possible, no matter the challenge. I will definitely grow in the process. My new courses are much easier than I expected, which will help me in my first attempt at managing four courses in one semester. All is on a good start so far. I’m emotionally well regulated, thanks to St, and my dream to enter the microbiology department in the Fall is within reach.

The Holidays were relaxing, and fun. St, and I indulged in extreme laziness with breaks for family, and friends visits, and a hint of renovations. Even if this semester first week was completed with a cold, I’m much better now, and I’m ready to conquer my studies.

Gratitude journal:

I’m grateful for continuing my gratitude journal mental health exercise.



Judith's Squirrels

Completed diary of a student entering university at forty. Just writing for me. Kaizenka, ex-nomade, foodie, and health nerd.