Time to reset
It was a decently productive day. I’m not yet satisfied by my reading speed, it’s frustrating. My math comprehension is, to be generous, basic, but a few equations are coming together. I’m no longer in an optimistic mood as my performance is desperately below average.
This semester is a mess with all the course restructuring, the delays in bureaucratic procedures being completed to get my learning handicaps gouvernement benefits, and my atrocious knowledge gap in math. I’m discouraged by my lack of performance, but I’ve dedicated the next decade of my life to be a professional student. For as long as I get student financial support, I will continue. I do nurture the dream of a Master’s in the human microbiome, it will take a long time, but I think I will get there. I will try my damned best that’s for sure.
As for my self-assessment on my learning abilities, I have had a humbling dose of reality check. With learning handicaps comes low performance, and some intelligence deficits. As encouraging as my neuropsychology evaluator tried to be, the actual facts of the current unfolding proves that it was optimism rather than a reality.
Quite frankly, science is the only subject I find worth learning. With a planet at the edge of extinction, unless great technological advancements are made, we have very little chances to enter the next century. To me, the only way to make a difference in this world is by developing scientific skills. I’m not giving up, but I’m not tooting any horns. In my own small way, I will try as mediocre it may be.
