Unscripted
It’s never easy to come to terms with a situation that simply cannot be repaired. No matter how positive and functional things may have been, they can’t be a predictor of the future. Between throwing the towel and persevering, the thin line of personal boundaries divides those worlds irrevocably. For one to assess their limits, recognition of their values is the first step.
Too often, we get lost in other people’s agendas because we are social creatures and are driven to collaborate. It’s helpful in a lot of circumstances but leads to difficulties when one’s integrity gets eroded. Self-awareness is crucial to find the healthiest equilibrium for our lives and it starts by knowing what matters most to us and what we are not willing to compromise on. Trusting our instincts and ourselves to know what’s best for us seems simplistic though it’s much harder than we think.
Constant influences from our surroundings keep raising questions that sometimes lead to doubt. In order to grow, we must try new experiences and allow the unknown, which becomes challenging when balancing self-love and self-care. In our performance culture, we lose track of our individual needs to often take part in the rate race for social validation. From prestigious job offers that have nothing to do with our true calling to relationships that make us feel important even if unfulfilling, we will neglect our yearnings to comply with the common accord of what is supposedly good.
For the past year, I was granted the gift of free time, which I leverage with introspection, healing and personal growth. In the process, my entire life got reorganize as it became evident I was not following my own path and was letting stereotypical assumptions run my life. From my views of what it is to earn revenue to how I should love my partner, everything was “shoulds,” “musts,” and “cannots.” Very little had to do with my desires and dreams. Even the beginning of this blogging journey was scripted out of my preconception of what I thought I should write about. I was worried about appearing irrelevant and wanted to please an audience.
Gladly, I state “f*** that”! Now, I type my thoughts for the pleasure of being me. My writing is imperfect, I may be falling into a bunch of blogging pitfalls and may never build an audience. At the end of the day, if I’m doing something for others, I’ll never feel joy for that accomplishment. Focusing on our personal goals is a popular fantasy but a defiant act when put in practice — courage snowballs in further bold actions of liberation.
