Here I thought that I had indulged once more in a cheat day yesterday but ended up about 250 calories under. Suddenly, I am faced with not following my own advice! In my earlier posts, I did indicate that I use food journaling because I have a tendency to not eat enough if I try to be health-conscious. Even if my app was a click away in my pocket, I delayed my entry till today and can see that I did not reach my protein target at all even if I felt I ate a lot of meat and seafood. The scientific approach is the only one that can keep me on track and I will train myself and my social circle to bear with me when taking a few minutes to make my food entries in my tracking app.
The funniest part is that my close friends all support me in my 2-year food experimentation and I find myself feeling bad for doing what I said I would do because I find the use of technology while among loved ones a rude gesture. I need to evolve and politely step aside from my conversations to do what I need to do and come back with peace of mind and proper dietary evaluations.
Behaviours, that’s what we truly struggle to change, not so much what we put on our plates. In my case, I fear being inconsiderate if I’m not fully present at a shared meal. Whether it is declining generously offered delicious dishes or taking my attention away from my company, my heart twists every time I act in discordance from my habits. But, after confirming with my friends, they are absolutely fine with what I need to do to honour my commitment. At this point, I think I need to point an internal finger at myself when fearing offending those I love. It’s clear that my assumptions about the desires of my close friends are misplaced and I may be using this as an escape or excuse. The only person that is losing enjoyment is me due to my inability to reconcile my socializing ideals with my new health goals.
Patience and compassion for oneself are powerful tools to help to embrace those changes. In the glitches of transitioning self-concepts, I should question my feelings before rationalizing with seemingly exterior influences. It’s so funny how we get in our own way most of the time while our loved ones watch us startled and puzzled by our internal struggles. Instead of judging my behaviours, I should focus on managing them.